We have been talking about Self-Reliance this month: Relying on your own Powers, Abilities, and Judgments. When you are working to develop self-reliance, sometimes the hardest step is learning how to rely on your own judgments. Judgments mean our ability to make crucial decisions. At its most basic level, this means being able to decide right from wrong. But if you look a little bit deeper, it includes judging people’s character, determining what is healthy vs what is bad for you, and even making decisions that will affect your future.
Self-reliance means knowing what it is you truly believe in, and making every decision in your life based on that conviction.
As a child, your parents make these decisions for you. They tell you what is right and wrong, what friends are ok to spend time with, what you should do to be healthy, and they are largely responsible for your future. As a parent, that is their main job: until you are mature enough to make these decisions on your own. But in today’s society, how many times do we see grown men and women who have never reached that level of maturity? We see young people grow up and become parents of their own, even when they are still living as if someone else is responsible for their decisions.
Being self-reliant is NOT THE SAME as being rebellious against what your parents taught you. Self-reliance means knowing what it is you truly believe in, and making every decision in your life based on that conviction. If your only conviction is to do the total opposite of what your parents taught you, how far do you think that will get you?
There will be many things that you will disagree with your parents over. But when you examine what you believe, take into account the good things that your parents did for you. How did those things make you a better person? What life lessons did your parents teach you, and how have those lessons influenced your life? Once you have examined these things, add them to your core set of beliefs and practice making your decisions based on them.
There is a reason Bruce Lee’s most famous quote begins with “Absorb what is useful.” Don’t be one of those adults who is wandering through life without any real basis for their decisions. Become a Self-Reliant leader who knows what they believe, and makes the right decisions to get there.
See you on the mat,